Wednesday 29 August 2018

LIFE: Do we ever really know what happens behind closed doors?

LIFE: Do we ever really know what happens behind closed doors?
Do we ever really know what happens behind closed doors? The simple answer is no, not even the start of it. Miscarriage, the breakdown of a marriage, abuse, mental health issues...the list could go on, which is both heartbreaking and reality. Our friends, loved ones and those we follow, even admire, on social media. Any of these things could be happening to them and we could be completely oblivious. Blissfully wittering on about holiday plans, what they did at their Grandma's last week, watching the children play and commenting on how quickly they are growing up, how the weather has been etc., without a thought that something may not be quite right. That actually inside, behind closed doors, their heart is breaking, they are experiencing yet another loss, they are being subjected to physical/ emotional/ domestic/ sexual abuse, mental health issues that see them hiding away crying silent tears for hours on end. In reality, how well do we know those we are about? Do we know everything about their lives or do we only know what they choose to share?

I think both you and I know the answer to that. Behind closed doors anything could be happening and that is quite a scary thought if you ask me. You think you know your friends, family, even the people you follow on social media, but they could very well be sharing an edited version of their life. The life they want people to think they are leading. A life filled with love, happiness and dreams coming true. The fairy tale.

As humans we are very good pretenders; we can carry on like nothing is happening for an impressive amount of time before cracks start to show. Before friends start to ask if you're ok, before loved ones share their worry for you, before you feel like you need to ask for help. It's a trait that is our worst enemy at times and one that leaves you struggling through the hard times.

You simply don't know what people are going through, so being sensitive, considerate and caring to everyone you come across can only help spread positivity.


To the person who lays awake at night worrying.
To the person who always covers up through fear of what others might see.
To the person who feels alone.
To the person who smiles through the tears.
To the person who feels like they're the only one.
To the person who is scared to ask for help.
To the person who feels like the odd one out.
To the person who thinks 'why me?'.
To the person who hides under a blanket to escape reality.
To the person who didn't see two blue lines, yet again.
To the person who wants to run away.
To the person who uses song lyrics or quotes to really share how they're feeling.
To the person who looks back at their happiness and wonders where it's gone.
To the person who feels like they're shouting at the top of their voice but no one is listening.
To the person who feels numb inside.
To the person who doesn't know what to do.
To the person who is just trying their best to survive.
To the person who feels out of control.
To the person who has someone making them feel unworthy.
To the person who has waited in the early pregnancy unit for a scan that brought heartbreak.
To the person who has lost their feeling of self worth.
To the person who is being disrespected.
To the person who cries uncontrollably.
To the person who has nightmares.
To the person who is crippled by guilt.
To the person who is scared.
To the person who feels like their mind is going to explode.
To the person who has lost their focus.
To the person who is waiting for someone to ask if they're ok.
To the person who is lost in the lies and hurt.
To the person who can't sleep anymore.
To the person who is tormented by intrusive thoughts.
To the person who has more rage than they can manage.
To the person who isn't who they used to be.
To the person who has every reason to be happy, but isn't.
To the person who is forced to live a double life.
To the person who is suffering.
To the person who thought they were pregnant.
To the person who is waiting anxiously in the doctors waiting room.
To the person who doesn't want to have to constantly work on their mental health.
To the person who found blood when they wiped.
To the person who has had their heart broken.
To the person who has had to face challenges they thought were saved for nightmares.
To the person who can't face reality.
To the person who needs someone to intervene.
To the person who wants to be happy again.
To the person who wants to feel safe again.
To the person who wants to feel love again.
To the person who wants to feel anything again.

you are not alone.

I think you'd be surprised quite how many of the people in your lives have experienced or are experiencing any of these thoughts, life events or issues. We all need to work together to ensure that no one feels alone, help is offered where needed and we all work together to support one another.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing any of these things then help and advice can be found here:

You might be surprised what can happen behind closed doors.

Helen x


  1. Well written and thank you as this is so important. Social media has the habit of portraying perfect lives yet none of us know the struggles that others carefully hide.

  2. It really is so easy not to notice what goes on behind closed doors. Really thought provoking and a beautiful read x

  3. So well said!!! We do live in a “perfect” social media world nowadays, so easy to forget this is not true! Well done for the post xx

  4. So true! I wrote a post about living with PND behind closed doors and so it really is true that no one knows x

  5. Great post and a little reminder to us all to open our eyes and ears. Also a reminder to not as lways believe everyone's life is picture perfect x

  6. So important to remember that behind closed doors could be a different story. We really must check on each other a little more, you never know who is secretly suffering or just needs to talk.

  7. This is so true. The story is usually different behind closed doors. No one would ever really know.

  8. This is very true - coming from a broken home where domestic abuse was on a daily basis, no-one ever knew as we smiled through it until enough was enough

  9. Very true. No one knows what others are going though. Even the people we are close too. You have just reminded me of a close friend I have not seen for years in this post.

  10. Social media has the habit of making people believe everything is ok. On the surface the image is perfect. Thanks for highlighting this and putting it at the front of our minds x

  11. Nobody really knows what is happening to your life except YOU. Social media isn't telling it all. What's usually published are the good side but behind lies the true story.

  12. Lovely post that I'm sure will speak to so many, it's true, we never really know what's happening.

  13. It's so true. I had my one very well, no one knew. On the surface I looked fine but behind closed doors was another story x

  14. This is so very true and as your rightly say it really is quite scary when you sit down and think about it. These organisations are very important and I think its great you are bringing them to peoples attention x

  15. This is so true, you can never really know for sure but just keeping communication going with anyone your worried about is key. Also great to share this list of organisations and support groups to help

    Laura x

  16. This is such a raw, heartfelt post, and so beautifully penned (typed). Kudos to you for having the strength to write this x

  17. Anxiety came on for me a few months after having Grace, the last part of labour didn't go to plan then I had a few health issues after having her and it was triggered by all of that. I had to go on tablets because I was that bad, it was horrendous.

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