Tuesday 17 September 2019

CHILDREN: The First Week of Starting School - Highs, Lows and Everything In-Between

CHILDREN: The First Week of Starting School - Highs, Lows and Everything In-Between
Starting school. The milestone dreaded by many and one that is truly life changing, whether you like it or not. I have spent the last year or so getting myself wound up about this September and Isabella, my first baby, starting school. I just couldn't see life without her at home with me, especially as she was the one who made me a mummy in the first place. I didn't know motherhood without her there all the time and she didn't know life without me there. We spent the summer trying to squeeze in as many special memories together as we possibly could. After my second daughter, Poppy, was born I had a tricky time personally, but we had finally found our feet as a team and I just wasn't ready to let that go. I wanted to dig my heels in, scream and shout and not let the education system take my daughter away from me five days a week. I knew it was best for Isabella and she spent the summer so excited for September to finally arrive, but the run up was completely the opposite for me. However, we are now over a week into school life and a lot has changed, I've learnt a lot and Isabella has learnt a lot too.


The first and biggest thing I've learnt is that starting school is one big rollercoaster. A rollercoaster of emotions, moments and experiences. The anticipation leading up to that first day, the excited cards arriving in the post from family members, the 'how are you doing' phone calls each day, the buying new school uniform, packing their bookbag for the first time, trying on uniform and P.E kits to check they fit, taking the obligatory 'first day at school' photographs, excitedly waving them off as they enter the classroom where they will spend more hours a day awake than anywhere else, smiling at their new teacher, watching the clock tick by until home time, eagerly waiting at the school gate at 3pm with the hope of getting in to see them a few minutes early, hearing all about their adventures that day, what they have learnt, who they have sat next to, what they have eaten, whether they are looking forward to school tomorrow. You go home, relax together, have dinner, a bath and it's bedtime before you know it. 


Then the whole process starts again the next day, but the next day isn't the 'first day at school' anymore and the excitement and anticipation that surrounds that day already begins to disappear. Reality kicks in pretty quickly that this 'school life' isn't just for one day, not just for two days...it's for five days a week until they are eighteen years old. Then the tiredness hits, it hits you all and that is when things get really tough.


For us, the tiredness hit by the middle of Isabella's first full week and with that came all of the emotions. The tears about not wanting to go to school, not having anyone to play with, not having anyone to help cut up her lunch, not having Mummy and Poppy there during the day, not having an adult to sit next to, but mainly about how long the school day is and how much she misses us. This is obviously heartbreaking to hear, so I tried to think of anything I could do to make it better for her. We drew matching hearts on our hands and I told her to press it anytime she felt sad, I spoke to her teacher who said she would organise for Isabella to sit next to her friends at lunchtime, we spoke about how it is okay to feel sad because a lot has changed, I put her to bed even earlier than usual (she used to go to bed at 6.30pm, but has been going at 5.30pm for the past few nights), we focused on what she was looking forward to at school and I cuddled her for as long as she would let me. All while trying to hold it together myself.
The first time I had to leave Isabella crying to school quite literally broke my heart and the moment I left the classroom I burst into tears. It's the most unnatural thing to do, leaving your child upset, but I know from experience that dragging out the drop off only makes things worse and I don't really have much of a choice about her having to go to school. Thankfully, when I picked her up on that day she ran out with a smile on her face and said she'd had a much better day. Although by 4.30-5pm the tiredness had set in again and we had lots of tears again. Tiredness is the toughest challenge with starting school from our experience; it impacts every aspect of life and their behaviour. You may be faced with attitude, challenging behaviour, emotional outbursts, all the tears...it all depends on how your child reacts to change and tiredness. But either way it has been the biggest challenge for us within the first week of starting school.


It's not all been hard though; hearing all about what Isabella has been doing each day has been so lovely. The range of learning opportunities and life experiences she has already had is incredible, including cooking with her class, a wellie walk, visiting the library, going to assembly, choosing her main meals each day etc. The pride you feel when your little one walks to/from school in their adorable and very smart looking uniform is off the scale, not to mention when they come home with an array of stickers for various good deeds/achievements throughout the day. Isabella has started phonics lessons already and hearing her repeat the rhymes as she begins the journey of being able to read and write independently fills my heart with even more pride. 


It has been an emotional rollercoaster of a week as we all settle into a new routine, but I know that eventually Isabella is going to love going to school each day and the pride we feel as parents makes all the tears (mine more than my husband's!) worth it.


If you're little one started school this year then I really hope they have had a positive first few weeks and that you are all settling into the new way of life. It's such a big change for everyone and personally the most difficult milestone to date. We can do this! 


Feel free to leave a comment - I love reading every single one :)


Helen x
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13 comments

  1. I totally get how you feel. Even though I home school my two now, I always left with a heavy heart when I dropped my eldest off! Isabella sounds like she is settling into school life so well. Long may it continue. :) x

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  2. Starting school is such a milestone but children always adapt quickly enough. I think we're worse as mums fretting alot of the time!!

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  3. Ah I remember that first week with my eldest, It was such a tricky time. We've opted out of the education system now and home educate instead so although my middle was due to start school this month, she hasn't - my thoughts have been with all of the reception parents nonetheless though, its a lot to get used to xx

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  4. Oh it’s so hard, for them but so so hard for us. It’s letting someone else take over and having no real control of what happens after you wave them off.

    It will get easier for you both x

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  5. It is so hard to leave them when they are crying, but it is important to remember to be positive about the experience. As a teacher, I find they do settle very quickly, especially when the parents are encouraging

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  6. Ah bless I remember this so well...they do get so utterly tired and oh the emotions! The good news is it does settle down but it does take a few weeks...

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  7. I remember all mine starting school. I was crying leaving them, it is so hard at first. Hope everything settles for you both very soon.

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  8. It's such a hard transition. I find that they're tired for the first weeks, then they settle in. But by half term, we're back to being emotional! We are having senior school dilemmas at the moment, and i'm sorry to say, but I've found it especially hard. More so than reception!

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  9. My brother and SIL also had an emotional rollercoaster when my nephew started school, he had mixed days.

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  10. In Edinburgh, school started id August so we have our first month behind us and it's been a rollercoaster of emotions. From "I don't want to wear the school trousers, they are too grey!" (Can't really fault his argument though) to "I don't want to do my name is cursive writing, I want to write it the way I want!" Overall he's enjoying it though.

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  11. I am so happy to see kids at their forst day of schook. My daughter just started to go to sholl and glad she loves it so much and I don't get any problem since she started.

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  12. It's so flipping hard, isn't it. I only do the school run twice a week but I love seeing the look on his when I pick him up. The tiredness is a killer and we're having to learn to be super patient.

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