Someone asked me recently whether motherhood is what I thought it was going to be and it really got me thinking. My instant reaction was no, it's nothing like I imagined it to be. The love I feel for Isabella is like no other love I have ever felt before, it's fierce, protective and unconditional. Everyone talks about this 'love' you feel when you become a parent, but you really cannot understand what that feels like until it happens. That is something I didn't expect when I became a mummy and is one of, if not, the best things in my life. For that I am eternally grateful.
Parenthood is a roller-coaster in every sense of the word, with seriously hard moments and the most adorable love filled moments. I expected it to be a roller-coaster, but perhaps not to the extremes that it really is. There seems to be no middle ground in parenting a toddler, it is either wonderful or the hardest thing ever. Tantrums, defiance and the constant desire for independence create stressful days where bedtime cannot come quick enough. Whereas smiles, laughter and learning new skills create proud days where bedtime is the last thing on your mind.
Though those hard days are, well hard, they make the good days even better and certainly more appreciated. Life is full of good and bad days, so it's not entirely surprising that parenthood is filled with them too. However, when you're having a hard day sometimes it can feel like that's it, forever. I remember so many days when Isabella was a baby that wouldn't stop crying I thought that was my life from then on. She would never stop crying or start sleeping though the night or like being put down or let me go to the toilet in peace (we're still working on this one). On those days I found it hard to see past the fog in front of me and I really didn't expect the intensity of such days. It was enough to put me off wanting a second baby for a long while, how would I manage those days with a toddler too? To be honest I still wonder now.
On the flip side the good days are beyond my wildest imagination and make all of the hard days worth it, there lies the roller-coaster of parenthood. That feeling of watching your child learn something new because you've taught them is just so incredible. Being greeted by their smile in the morning, hearing them giggle, have them run toward with open arms, listening to them saying they love you, making memories together, enabling them to explore the world, visiting new places together, watching them grow and flourish is an honour. All of those moments aren't what I expected from motherhood, they're so much better.
Is parenthood what you expected?
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