Friday, 12 January 2018

BABY #2: It may break my heart slightly, but the time has come...

I'm sitting here, the day after the night before and have to admit I feel slightly heartbroken. If you're a parent, then you'll know how quickly our little ones grow up and how change becomes something we deal with on an almost daily basis. Change can be anything from clothes not fitting anymore to milestones being reached. Every one is approached with happiness and excitement for the next stage, but also sadness of what was. As second time parent I certainly approach these changes differently this time. When it came to bringing up Isabella through those ever-changing baby days I was a keen first time parent, eager for her to reach the next milestone.


However, this time I have felt the complete opposite. I now know how quickly babies grow up and that almost everyday something changes that you'll never get back. I'm still excited for Poppy to reach the big milestones, but they certainly are approached with much more sadness this time. I don't know if Poppy is our last baby or not, but either way we won't be going through these baby days very many more times, if ever. I feel so extremely lucky to have had two beautiful babies and instead of encouraging Poppy to eagerly reach the next milestone I am trying really hard to embrace the present moment. 

One big milestone that I have been dreading is Poppy moving into her own room. Since falling in love with the incredible world of co-sleeping safely (read more about my experience here) I have never wanted it to end. Falling asleep laying next to my baby, holding her hand and offering her all the comfort she needs have been some of my fondest memories so far. Isabella slept in a moses basket, so when she moved into her own room it didn't feel like as much of a change. When she was asleep I couldn't see her and I had to get up to feed her during the night, so the move into her cot at 5.5 months wasn't all that different. But, this time it's all different and I feel slightly heartbroken. 

At 7 months old Poppy hasn't got enough space in her Babybay anymore, so there was no choice but to move her into her own room. For a while now she has been sleeping in her room for naps during the day, which I found hard enough. Those long sleepy snuggles were so special, so accepting that they had to come to an end was hard. But now knowing that Poppy won't be sleeping next to me anymore feels like a big chapter has closed. Tears have been shed, but I know that soon enough I will have adjusted to this change. Right now though, my heart hurts with sadness that potentially our last baby has left our bedroom and is all grown up in her own bedroom. 

There are so many positives about being a second time parent, but from my experience hitting those milestones comes with a heavier heart and deeper sadness. Perhaps it's because time flies even quicker second time around or that the mum guilt feels like I've not managed to give Poppy enough time or the thought of not experiencing these moments again. I don't know, but for the first time last night my baby slept in her own room and did so incredibly well. After a shaky start Poppy slept for six hours solid, which is the longest she's done in a long time. I feel proud, sad and lonely, but it had to happen and to get to seven months is a further point than we got to with Isabella.

Which baby milestone did you find the hardest to deal with?

Feel free to leave a comment - I love reading every single one :)

Helen x
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17 comments

  1. Oh that's hard going :( We didn't start co-sleeping until Jenson was about 15 months. We would spend hours trying to settle him back into his cot but when we moved house we let him come in with us because we knew it was a difficult transition for him. Over a year later, he starts the night in his own bed but comes in with us when he wakes up - it means we get longer in bed in the morning! He can come in a time between 10pm and 6am but it's usually earlier rather than later. On the nights when I go to bed and he's not already in there I struggle to sleep. I think I rely on that closeness more than he does and am dreading the day he stays in his own room all night.

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    1. Aww I think you're right - Poppy has been fine in her own room, whilst here I am crying my eyes out. We rely on our children more than they do on us sometimes!

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  2. We only have one daughter. She's fifteen months now, and like you, I was eager for her to got her milestones, but also reluctant to see them. The biggest one for me was when she started walking. It was the start of her fault gaining independence. I look at her now and wonder where my newborn went.

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  3. I think I found the schooling transitions the most difficult. Letting them explore the next stages of their lives with teachers and friends to support them, instead of me. A lovely post x

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  4. My little one has been sleeping on his own in his room since he was about three months. It is hard. This week he started Kindergarten so another milestone and transition.

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  5. I think each milestone is hard, giving up breastfeeding was probably the one of the hardest as was starting school. Parenthood is a neverending cycle of emotions

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  6. I can only imagine how fast time flies and how they grow up so fast. Ill remember to cherish every moment when i decide to have mine.

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  7. As I am reading your lines I can't stop but feeling a bit sad inside, my babies are a bit older and in school now but I remember clearly when I have to stop breastfeeding them, for me, that was the biggest challende of all in the milestone world, such a cruel reality when your little ones become little humans and start getting less and less dependent of you :(

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  8. Oh gosh, I'm right there with you and wrote a very similar post last week when we moved Ben! It's definitely different second time around, I'm in no rush to hit any of the milestones. Well done Poppy on 6 hours though - I'd give anything for 6 hours from Ben!!

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  9. I found them all hard. I was eager for them to hit all milestones but now I still miss the early newborn stage.

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  10. Oh bless you. I’m currently feeling exactly the same as you . Nila is 6 Months and way to big for her co sleeper and I’m dreading any kind of sleep change . I love her being in with us x KIRA

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  11. Ohh, I am not a mommy yet but I can feel all of this. I have the same colleagues who are just really experiencing the same. I wonder how will I be when I became a mom too. I guess I will definitely feel just the same. - Anosa Malanga

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  12. Although I have reached parenthood myself I can feel every emotions in your post. Its all a learning curve and you are learning with each step. You have to experience it all in the moment thats how the best memories are made!



    www.nmdiaries.com

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  13. Ahhhh it's hard when they have to move onto the next stages. Mine are older and I found school pretty hard

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  14. I think all the milestones can be tough....for me it was coming off breastfeeding it's always the end of an era x

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  15. I can totally relate to this, I was sad when Neve moved into her own room because I knew it would be the last time I slept with a baby in a cot by my side. As she’s my last baby every milestone is met with a tinge of sadness, however I am also loving watching her grow up and develop her own little personality :) special times x

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  16. It really is bitter sweet the second time around, with the first I was eager to be getting to the next stage but I savoured it a lot more with my second and just typical he went at a much faster rate. Enjoy these moments because they certainly do fly by

    Laura x

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