Monday, 4 February 2019

PARENTHOOD: How has the first 1000 days of parenting been second time around compared to the first?

PARENTHOOD: How has the first 1000 days of parenting been second time around compared to the first?
*Advertorial Content – paid partnership with SMA® Nutrition.
Entering the world of parenting is a steep learning journey, filled with both magical and challenging times. But how do those vital first 1000 days differ between your first and second baby? In 2015 Isabella made us parents for the first time and by the time she was six months we had spent many hours simply staring at this little bundle of joy that had entered our world. Life as a parent is a juggling act of feeding, burping, nappy changing, sleeping (baby, not us!) and a lot of first experiences. We learnt together, cried together, shared the excitement with family/friends, had so many questions and laughed beyond belief at what our life had become.
Isabella was the baby that made us parents and that will forever be such an incredible and treasured time in our life. We look back now and struggle to believe the lengths we went to, the time we spent and the worry we caused ourselves while tending for every single one of Isabella's needs. When you're a first-time parent everything is new, so it takes time, patience and support to gradually find your feet. Luckily, the SMA Careline® has an expert team of parents on hand to help support during those parenting challenges and to answer the seemingly never-ending list of questions raising a little person brings. Despite now having two children there are still many questions that I don’t know the answer to, so having a supportive, friendly and informative group of people available to live chat via the SMA® Nutrition website is both reassuring and helpful.
Then in 2017 I became a mummy for the second time, but this time filled with less worry. I found that having the previous experience really did give me the confidence to trust my instincts and have confidence in my parenting decisions. But this time the challenges weren’t solely around our baby; we now had two children and all the challenges that go with raising them simultaneously. There is a lot of juggling and unavoidable guilt, but over time I've found that it's become easier to balance my attention/time between Isabella and Poppy. There is a 2-year 2 month age gap between them, so they are now into similar toys which is good in one way but the cause of many arguments in another.
This is where one of the biggest differences has come during the first 1000 days of parenting second time around; the first time it was all on me during the day whereas the second time Isabella is there to entertain, help and play. When I was on maternity leave with Isabella I had to provide all the entertainment, caring, food, routine etc. for her and by myself. It was extremely lonely at times, as I'd find myself not talking to anyone other than my baby all day. However, second time around I've got Isabella at home with me too and she certainly doesn't allow the house to be silent ever. We chat away all day, go on adventures and she's there to play with Poppy while I make dinner or tidy up. They love playing together, as Poppy participates in Isabella's make-believe games. I often hear them playing 'Mums and Dads' or 'Mums and Babies', which is just the cutest. It makes getting the boring but necessary jobs around the house done a lot easier and they learn so much from each other too.
Isabella is learning that Poppy doesn't know everything yet and together we are helping to teach her all about the world around her. Poppy is also learning how to play with Isabella, all about boundaries and how to stay safe. It's simply a pleasure and joy to watch them grow up together and for that I am extremely grateful.
Another big difference between those first 1000 days is that every moment with Isabella I was encouraging her to hit the next milestone, whether it be sitting up, crawling, walking, talking etc. It was exciting not knowing what was coming and then celebrating each and every milestone when it was reached. We were constantly kept on our toes with baby-proofing our house, discovering what Isabella could suddenly do and adapting our daily routine in accordance. However, with your second you know what is coming so I wasn't expecting it to be quite so exciting if I'm honest. But I was very wrong because something I hadn't appreciated was that every baby's journey towards each milestone is completely unique. They all learn in different ways, at different times and using different methods. It is therefore just as magical witnessing Poppy's journey towards the milestones, as it was with Isabella but this time we have the experience to know how to deal with them.
During Isabella's first 1000 days of her life I took so many photos and I'll forever be grateful of those memories. In fact I took a photo of her each week for the first year on the same blanket, so that I could see how much she changed week to week. I then did the same with Poppy and it's so interesting seeing how similar or different they look at each week of their life, so if you're at the beginning of your parenting journey then I'd highly recommend giving it a go. Remember to include a milestone card or piece of paper with how old they are in the photograph though, otherwise it can be hard to keep track!
Those first 1000 days of parenting second time around are filled with a lot of juggling, guilt and more love than you could ever imagine as you watch the bond between your children grow. Their SMA® PRO Growing Up Milk contains vitamin D and calcium to support the normal growth and development of bones in children, Omega 3 & 6 and iodine to support normal growth, as well as a blend of vitamins A, C & D for the normal function of the immune system and iron to help support normal cognitive development. Ideal for supporting toddler’s nutritional needs as part of a varied diet from 12 months to 3 years through all of those exciting milestones that they reach.


Feel free to leave a comment - I love reading every single one :) 

Helen x 

IMPORTANT NOTICE: SMA® PRO Growing Up Milk is suitable for young children from 1-3 years, as part of a healthy balanced diet and it is not a breast milk substitute.

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17 comments

  1. It is lonely the first time around when it is just you and baby. I have 3 children and it's lovely that each time you introduce a new member to the others they want to help mummy as it's all so exciting for them.

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  2. What an interesting post. It shows just how much things change the second time around!

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  3. Oh I loved this it's funny how things change as the children grow. I find it easier for sure!

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  4. Did you feel more prepared for Poppy and knew what you were doing? How nice that you took pictures every week with Isabella

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    1. I definitely felt more prepared on the run up to giving birth, but the moment I had two children it did feel overwhelming to begin with. It's just about getting used to a new family dynamic :)

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  5. This is great insight. I have twins so I have experienced it all at the same time.

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  6. I definitely agree re: the juggling and the guilt the second time around! It has been amazing seeing how different the two journeys have been between my children!

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  7. I found the transition from one to two children really easy and I think as you add to the family there is more guilt as you cannot spend as much time with each of them, but the benefits of having a sibling really outweigh that, especially as they get older

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  8. I really did worry less and cope better second and third time around. I think we are so busy we just go with the flow more.

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  9. What a great post. I do not have children of my own yet but I have heard that is somewhat easier 2nd time round. It looks like you are doing a great job. It is lovely that they are so close in age!

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  10. Aw this sounds like my eldest two who are also close in age. It can definitely be a struggle and lots of juggling involved after having baby number two!

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  11. My experience with my two babies was so different. My eldest was a difficult baby. He suffered from colic, cried a lot, slept very little. I cried a lot and slept very little too. Nursing was a struggle. We had trouble bonding. The first six months were hellish. My second baby was the perfect kind of baby you wish for - good at nursing, a good sleeper (8 hours a night from six weeks on!), always happy. He would even laugh while he was feeding and in his sleep. I was a lot more relaxed the second time round, but I think it wasn't all down to that, they were just different in nature.

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  12. I love the idea of looking at parenting over the first 1000 days - what an interesting topic and way of charting the magical rollercoaster that is parenthood.

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  13. Isabella and Poppy have such a cute sisterly bond! I would have loved a little brother or sister for Ellie to play with but my circumstances just didn't work out like that. The SMA advice line is a great idea, sometimes you just need some reassurance you're doing things right don't you.

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  14. Oh your girls are so sweet together. I definitely agree that when you have first you worry about so much more and having the experience of being a parent helps ease those worries when you have your second. The SMA chatline sounds amazing and I’m sure will be a godsend to first time parents xx

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  15. There's 11 years between my first and second so little things I can't remember although one big massive difference is my second son slept. My first was awake 22 hours a day until he started school.

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  16. It's so different, the 2nd time round, isn't it? I've found the experience with my 4 completely different each time, for a variety of reasons, but I've certainly enjoyed my maternity leaves more and more / made the most of it :)

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