PREGNANCY #3: The First Trimester - The Guilt, Mental Struggle and all of the Sickness

I can barely believe it, but here we are again...pregnancy announcement number THREE! Where to begin? Time really is flying this time and I'm now 16 weeks pregnant, which means I'm officially into my second trimester all ready. But lets go back to February when we found out that I was pregnant and all of those emotions that come with such a moment. Now before I begin I have to say that we are feeling extremely lucky to be pregnant again, but I also want to be honest. There is a lot of pressure to feel nothing but happiness when you find out your pregnant, but it isn't always like that. 

LIFE: Do we ever really know what happens behind closed doors?

Do we ever really know what happens behind closed doors? The simple answer is no, not even the start of it. Miscarriage, the breakdown of a marriage, abuse, mental health issues...the list could go on, which is both heartbreaking and reality. Our friends, loved ones and those we follow, even admire, on social media. Any of these things could be happening to them and we could be completely oblivious. Blissfully wittering on about holiday plans, what they did at their Grandma's last week, watching the children play and commenting on how quickly they are growing up, how the weather has been etc., without a thought that something may not be quite right. That actually inside, behind closed doors, their heart is breaking, they are experiencing yet another loss, they are being subjected to physical/ emotional/ domestic/ sexual abuse, mental health issues that see them hiding away crying silent tears for hours on end. In reality, how well do we know those we are about? Do we know everything about their lives or do we only know what they choose to share?

EXPOSURE THERAPY: Three Months In

In 2016 I was involved in a serious car accident (you can read more about it here and how it impacted my life one year on here - warning - if you're an anxious person you may not want to). Though my physical injuries were minimal for the severity of the crash, the impact it has had on my mental health has been intense. My struggled with anxiety aren't something I write about very often, so to many it may come as a surprise. My Instagram feed and blog are filled with happy photos of my family adventures, but what you don't see is the tears, panic and almost constant twist of worry in my stomach. Travelling anywhere in the car is hard for me, which not only makes my day to day world very small but it also means that I have to confront my fear almost daily.

LIFE: One year ago today our lives, quite literally, flipped upside down

One year ago today our lives, quite literally, flipped upside down. We were just coming off the motorway when another car decided that they also needed to be going that way too. Long story short, they crashed into the side of us causing our car to flip multiple times and skid across the road on the roof (read about the whole event here). When we finally came to a stop we were on our roof; I remember hearing Isabella cry once and then nothing. Nothing but my screams for her. Those moments will forever haunt me. Luckily, after what felt like a lifetime a member of the public had managed to get to her through the driver's side (bearing in mind she was upside down) and get her out. A few minutes later a quick response ambulance arrived, followed closely by two fire engines, two ambulances and ten police cars. The whole motorway had to be shut for some time and we were taken away in the ambulance.